A Wish For Sleep

A wish for sleep

A place between the darkness and the light

A place where nothing can come to haunt you

No pain, no memoirs of heartache

Haunting thoughts that won’t part from you

Never leaving you for a moment

But continuing their never ending siege on your defences

Breaking you down at every wall

Walls built up to secure your sanity

Sleep is the only sanctuary you have left to run to

But even that has left you alone to fight your battle

And now that you are defenceless against your enemies

You have resorted to allies of medications to help

But the sleep they offer is restless, not calming

They leave room for pain to enter, memories to flow in

They only give you enough rest to make it through until the next night

Then the payment increases to get the same return

The battle continues with no result

When will sleep return to cast her spell on me

Without a ransom note left at my bedside table

All I wish for is sleep to lie down with me

Comfort me; wrap her arms around me in her embrace

And we’ll leave my enemies behind at the door of darkness

Rain

I wish it would rain; the drops that come down cleanse my
soul

It washes away all the darkness, it wipes away any
remaining grit and grim that is left over from the night of dreams

Dreams that won’t let you go, dreams that come out of the
depths of your soul

Somewhere deep, deep where you have forgotten, where you have gone

It creeps back up when you slumber, it creeps back up from
the depths that you put it in so many years ago

Years ago when you were young, when all the wrongs were
done to you

You could then have the strength to push it down, down
into the depths never to come out

But now your old, and the walls crack while you’re in your
slumber

While you’re in your slumber the walls are cracking and it
creeps out

It’s dark and black and it wants to take you back, back to
where you were once long ago

But now you’re not young, you’re not strong you cannot
fight the demons of your soul

In your slumber its coming for you, you no longer have the
strength to keep the walls from cracking

I wish it would rain; I need the drops to cleanse my soul I
need the darkness to be washed away

Words

I survived

Not many do, but I did

It was a long road out, and a longer one within

It was dark inside with no way out, people who say just
leave, have never been there

Well I’ve been there, and I know you just can’t leave

They hold you there, with their claws of words

Their words of insecurities, words of hate, words of
despair

They take away your friends, your family, your confidence,
yourself worth

You become nothing, they control you, you are nothing

Your children learn from what they see

Do you do them any good to stay?

Or do you just continue the cycle, for another set of
words

My Friend

We were friends for so long, her and I we grew up
together, played in the fields played on the swings

Went to school, fell in love, had broken hearts cried a
lot, and laughed a lot

We were such good friends, we married, had children, got
older

I never treated her well though I called her fat, I didn’t
like her a lot of times

But she hung on, she was always there for me no matter how
bad I treated her, she was always good to me, she took me to places I thought I
would never go

Then one day something happened to her, the doctors
weren’t sure, they said wait

The years went by and I notice little things with her, a
stumbled, a tremble, a pain

The doctors now were sure she was sick, there is no cure,
I have to watch as she slowly deteriorate before my eyes, my friend and I always
had, my friend I never treated well

They give me pills so I don’t feel her pain, the pain that
she feels as the disease slowly eats away at her nerves

Shoulded I feel her pain? She has felt mine over the
years, now I am numb to hers

I will just sit by and slowly watch my friend, slowly die

She will leave me not in days but in years, I have to
watch her go

Slowly her legs will go, then I will carry her, I hope she
will understand, that I cannot feel her pain, it is too great for me

But I cry to think of what it is slowly and methodically
doing to her one nerve at a time. I can’t stop this war against her, I can’t
help her

The Dance

We begin the dance as we always do
The same words, the same looks, he holds out his hand
I take the stand, the arms come around
The words are the same the thought begin
They come out, slowly to begin, he says tell me, tell me I need to know
I want to help, I’m here for you
But what I say, we have heard before
He angers, what you say, we have said before, you need to get over this, its your problem, we dance
The same words, I can’t dance with him again
He wants to help, but he doesn’t want to dance
He stops his dance, I’m left
He doesn’t understand that I can’t dance alone
I need to finish this dance, we need to, we need to finish, its not over
I need to work out the steps, the words, they sometimes need to be said over to me
Just like a dance, sometimes it takes time to learn the steps

Between the Lines

My heart is stitched together, It has seen many heartbreaks

Its scars have crisscrossed the surface, leaving a trail of darkness

I fall between the lines that no one sees

I talk, I smile

No one knows what goes on, between the lines

That’s where I live

The darkness that envelopes me at night, he thinks

He is my only love

He has seen me before, we have know each other for many years

I come into his arms, he welcomes me

His darkness is here for now, I need to fight him

I need the strength, or he will take me

He has tried before, I need to overcome

I need the light to come back

I will always have scars, I will always have heat breaks

That will crisscross the surface

My heart will heal with scars from years, I will heal

And the darkness must stay away

But he waits for me at night….